Maybe {Growing Up Isn't Easy}

     'Maybe my parents don't have to be happy with all the choices that I make in life.  Maybe they don’t have to agree with all of them either.'  I think this as I drive toward a friend’s house after having just left my home where my parents made it plain that they didn’t agree with a choice that I had made. 

     Their disapproval stung and as I left the driveway I imagined their thoughts;  'We raised her better than that', 'what does she do when she's not around us', 'what will she do when she lives on her own'? 

     As I drove down the road, ashamed, wondering if I should go back, apologize to them and recant my choice, a thought echoed in my mind, 'Maybe my  parents don't have to be happy with all the choices that I make in life’ and then, the part that came after that, 'and that's OK!'

     I am not my parents.  I am not called to embrace the same choices and opinions that they have chosen to observe.  And that's OK.  Even though they don’t agree with me and even though they may not think that I’m living “right”, it REALLY is OK. 

   Pulling away from the belief system that raised me is hard.  It becomes even harder when I begin to realize that my parents & the people that I grew up with aren’t always going to agree with my life.  It's hard when they think that I'm not doing “right” and that I’m not “in God’s will”.  I won't lie and say it's easy.  It makes me feel like I should stop the things that I do and conform to their beliefs and opinions so that they'll approve of my choices; however, I can't do that.  It would be cheating myself since I know that who I am and the things that I’m choosing are the path that God has for me.

  I don't want to live to please any person.  Not my parents, not my best friend, not the church I attend and not the world that I live in.  I want to live to please Jesus Christ, the man who is also God, who gave His life for mine and who loves me just as I am.

What Do You Do? {With a Drunken Sailor}

  This post is not about drunken people, nor about sailors.  I just had to put that in the title because who doesn't remember this song?!  I don't know where I heard it but it popped into my head as I typed the first words to the title....

  So, I digress...Back to the point of this post.....

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  What do you do? 

  What do you do when the urge to travel is banging around in your skull, wanting to get out?

  What do you do when you have the threads of ideas and schemes for your business floating in your mind yet you don't know where to begin to bring those threads into a tapestry?

  What do you do when you really can't stand your day job (and it gets worse as the weeks progress) but you pray and pray and no door opens for you to go full time with what you love?

  What do you do when you think of moving out of your childhood home but realize that you don't have the money to do so?

  What do you do when you are praying for a spouse (a husband in my case) and a prospect comes along but then gets knocked out of the water for some reason?  (Disclaimer. I firmly believe all my "knocked out of the water" prospects were God closing the door because He has something much better for me.  But it still doesn't feel good at the time).

  What do you do when you realize that many of the beliefs you've held since childhood aren't the real deal?

  What do you do when you know that how your views and beliefs are changing is going to make very important people in your life unhappy but you know it's the right thing to do?

  Whew, boy....I need a break just from typing them all out. 

  Each of these questions is something that I've been dealing with over the past few months.

  It's a lot.  I think that most young adults go thru many of these questions at a much younger age (I'm 27 -almost 28 - for crying out loud) than I am; however, I don't know if going thru it earlier makes it any easier.

  I don't have an answer for any of the questions above.  I really don't.  I wish that I did. 

  There are days where I think that I have started to make progress with my business, days where I tightly hold onto the promises that God is going to provide me a husband, days where I like my day job.  But then, there are the days where my business seems like a failure, where I wonder when God is going to bless me with a husband, and where I HATE my day job and wish I was anywhere else but there.....

  And I still don't have any answers. 

  There are only a few things I know for a certainty, and I have been clinging to those things more and more lately.  One is that my God will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5).  The other is that I don't have to figure out the in's and out's of everything in my life, whether it's trying to analyze something in my spiritual life or whether it's wondering why God isn't opening any doors for me to travel (Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalms 37:23).  All the Lord requires of me is to love Him first (Mark 12: 29-31) and to fear Him and serve Him in truth with all my heart (1 Samuel 12:24). 

  These reminders comfort me when I begin to get overwhelmed with all the "what do you do's" above. 

  Do you have any "what do you do" moments in your life?  Share.  Maybe we can encourage each other....

Sara